Just Ask
Yeah. It is really pretty much that simple. Well, you have to have built a reputation for yourself as being dependable, sensible, safety-minded, organized, a good student of the sport, in fact – a humble student of the sport. You have to have by now taken the time to have earned the trust of others and if you are a young person, you cannot act silly nor try to make others believe you know everything you need to know about the sport. That will not give a prospective ‘loaner’ any confidence. On the contrary! Riders who believe they have learned all they need to know will become stagnate if not already. Instead, you must project yourself as someone who can be trusted to do the right thing by the horse. This is called horsemanship. To get anywhere in this sport, you have to be a good student of the sport – a lifelong student of the sport and you must always strive to be a good horseman. I don’t say horsewoman because saying horseman doesn’t bother me personally.
Practice Good Horsemanship (make sure you know what that means)
And to clarify, for those who might not know, since I actually had a conversation with someone recently who was confused about the meaning of horsemanship – without actually looking it up in a dictionary or even referring to a text written by the man himself (George Morris), horsemanship is not how well you groom your horse. The true meaning of it should not be confused with the ‘horsemanship class’ in your local 4-H show. Horsemanship is always doing what is in the best interest of the horse. Whether you have the answer or not – it is your job, as a rider, as a horseman, to get the answer and do right by the horse because the horse cannot do it for himself and he is completely at your mercy. He is wholly and completely reliant on you and your every action for all of his needs. Period. Therefore, you owe it to him to educate yourself and to keep on learning on how to do the right thing. It always astounds me how many people are out there who never attend a seminar, have never subscribed to a reputable horse magazine like Practical Horseman or Equus. They don’t get involved in their local equestrian clubs if there is one, they do not attend clinics and sometimes, the very first time they ever see a horseshow is the day they show up with that poor animal that follows them blindly up to the ring. I cannot stress enough how important it is that you continuously educate yourself. People will have more of a comfort level with you as a horseman if they know you will always seek to do the right thing by their horse.
Where I get my ‘ride begging’ roots from
Wow. That’s a rant. So, I’ll lighten things up by sharing some of my stories. I might have learned this ‘asking for a free ride skill’ from my grandmother. When I was… I don’t know, 3 or 4, my grandmother asked a neighbor boy to put his pony mare, Brownie, in a field behind her house when my sister and I would visit. This boy also had a horse named Sugarfoot, who to me, looked just gargantuan. I’ll never forget being on the ground and looking up at the boy and seeing how grand he looked way up high sitting bareback on Sugarfoot. I just thought he was the coolest.
I’m sure my grandmother had done many favors for this boy or his family. While my grandmother and grandfather were extremely poor, my grandmother had plenty to give. I vividly recall her cooking up meal after meal for neighbors and sending one friend or another out the door with a meal for Mrs. So and So ‘who wasn’t feeling too well lately’. There were countless neighbors either sitting in the kitchen or coming in and out of the house so I am certain my grandmother had probably helped this young man in some way or another and he was delighted to help her in return.
Brownie appeared in her backyard one day and I remember spending countless hours with a neighbor girl that my grandmother called ‘Twitch Tail’, ‘Twitch’ for short (my grandmother had a very good sense of humor), climbing on and off of Brownie. We’d also come up with a game where one person would ride in a circle around a tree while the other hung from it. Then, as the rider and pony passed under the tree, it was the job of the one hanging from it to drop down on Brownie’s back. Poor Brownie. We did have fun, though, and I’m sure spending those countless oppressively hot Texas days sliding around the fat, round back of that simple brown pony locked my love in for being around horses. I believe it is in your DNA and I’m sure it certainly woke the ‘horse lovin’ gene’ up in me.
Don’t be picky!
Not long after that, we moved to Taiwan where we, as a Marine family, would be stationed for the next 2 and a half years. There were no horses. At least not that I ever saw. But there were oxen. This was my first personal experience of asking for a ride. Mr. Ma (which ironically means ‘horse’ in Mandarin) drove the oxen cart which was the ‘trash service’ for our neighborhood. As was typical of the Taiwanese we encountered, Mr. Ma was a delightful man who was always smiling and loved American children. He also had a great sense of humor. As the oxen slowly made their lumbering way around the neighborhood, they of course had the occasion where they would relieve themselves on their little journey. Mr. Ma would hop off the trash-filled, foul-smelling cart and promptly scoop the manure up onto a flat shovel and gesture our way with the biggest grin saying, “You want a cookie?!!” We would screech and laugh and run a bit ahead but would always make our way back to hang out with Mr. Ma on his route. When he hopped off the cart, the oxen always slowly continued on, flies busily buzzing around them, necks locked into their yokes, shafts of the cart gently swaying from side to side with their slow motion strides.
One day, I had to have asked Mr. Ma if I could ride one of the oxen. Who knows, maybe he offered. I was 5 at the time so I certainly can’t recall but I can assure you, after getting one ride, I would have asked for more. I can still recall how it felt to sit on the broad whithers of the ox and how his short, coarse coat felt. When we came back home, my mother would get angry because we smelled (we did?). I rode the oxen every opportunity I could except when the mean one was hitched up. On those days, Mr. Ma would not let us ride. No clue what that one did but he ruined it for all of us by being a bad ox. The only other times I couldn’t ride was when we were headed to go shopping and my mother threatened us.
Know when to keep looking
The next time I asked to ride someone’s livestock, they were ponies. This actually took a bit more bravery for several reasons. These ponies were located some miles down the road from my house in Nokesville on a farm with cattle. My friend and I would see them from the road and took several opportunities to get up a little closer to the farm house on the property to size up the likelihood of asking for rides.
The farm house was very run down and chickens scratched around the yard. We’d seen the elderly lady that lived in the house and she actually scared us the most. Anyway, after some time, we gathered the courage to ask to ride the ponies. I can’t remember her exact response but it wasn’t exactly a yes. I think she said that the ponies were older and maybe she said their feet weren’t in the best of shape. But she said we could go out and visit with them, which we did.
When we were finally able to get up close to the ponies, we understood what she meant about their feet. Both ponies feet had been left untrimmed for so long, they curled up and back towards the ponies. I’d only seen this in pictures in my horse magazines but never up close. It was sad and needless to say, we never rode those ponies.
Never stop looking!
Not long after that, I got my own horse and had her up until I left for college so I didn’t need to beg for rides. However, when I came home from college, I was horseless. My next ride-mooching occurred when I was probably 19 and home on a break. I passed by a far on Lake Jackson drive often and saw an adorable dark bay gelding with his chestnut buddy grazing in the field. Best I could tell, neither were ridden often. I atleast never saw anyone ride them. Eventually, I simply walked up to the house and knocked on the door. I explained I was home on break from college and was looking for rides. I told her about my past experience and the training I’d had in college. I explained that I was reliable and dependable and conscientious. And, I asked if I could ride the horse once for her to see what she thought and that she of course could pull the plug on the deal at any time. The owner was an executive who had little time to ride given that she and her husband were busy renovating their farm house. So, it was a win-win situation. Not only did I get rides on the horse, I taught him to jump and shortly afterwards, we were showing and winning locally. His owner especially loved going back to her old barn and having us show and win there. Also, she allowed me to take him (Justin) to college for a semester. It doesn’t get any better than that!
I have more stories but I will save them for later posts. Basically, to do this sport on the cheap, you have to really, really want it. You have to muster a little bravery and you have to have done your homework. You have to be honest with both yourself and the owner. Tell them about your experience or even lack of it but most of all, tell them about your goals and what your plans are to try to get where you are going.
In the early days, I knocked on doors of complete strangers and asked for rides but in the latter days, in barns where I was teaching or already riding, I had people come to me. When people saw me having successes with one person’s horse, asking for rides on another was a piece of cake. So, this goes back to building your reputation. You don’t have to be a trainer. You simply have to show that you are responsible and organized and serious about this sport.
In the next installment, I’ll share a few more stories and one of my favorites involves running an ad. I’ve done that twice and gotten excellent results.
Happy free-ride hunting!
